You know how they say getting there is half the battle? Sometimes it's even more than that. My wife (Travelin' Mom), son (Travelin' Junior), and I just returned from a great long weekend in New York after surviving a not-so-great start to the commute there. First, a little background: TJ is somewhat high-energy/high-maintenance in general, but has always been a good traveler, especially since TM and I added our "silver bullet"-- a portable DVD player capable of rocking an Elmo-a-thon at any critical time. Although we felt confident in our bag of travel tricks, TJ had been getting over a cold and was uncharacteristically crabby the days before the trip, so we knew things could be different (Note: I think this is what English teachers call "foreshadowing."). Suffice it to say, "different" is being kind:
- 7:45: Arrive Midway Airport for 9:15 a.m. Southwest flight to Long Island.
- 7:47: Greeted by long line to check bags.
- 7:48: Daydream wistfully about the days of only bringing a carry-on.
- 7:50: (TJ from his stroller) "Bye-Bye."
- 7:50: (Us) "We can't let you up right now, buddy. We have to get through this line first."
- 7:50-8:00: (TJ) "Bye-Bye, Bye-Bye, Bye-Bye, Bye-Bye, Bye-Bye, Bye-Bye, Bye-Bye."
- 8:01: Check-in. Head to security.
- 8:05: Face equally long security line.
- 8:06: (TJ) "Up, please."
- 8:06 (Us) "Soon, buddy. You can walk around as soon as we get through this security line."
- 8:07 (TJ) "Up please, Bye-Bye, Bye-Bye, Bye-Bye, Up please, Bye-Bye, Up please."
- 8:20 Arrive at metal detector. Begin juggling act of two people getting baggage for three, a car seat, a stroller, and a small, unhappy child all through metal detector. While taking shoes on and off.
- 8:21: Told to remove DVD player from case for x-ray screening.
- 8:21: TJ sees DVD player heading to x-ray and evidently thinks Elmo is being executed.
- 8:21- forever: (TJ, wailing, flailing) "Elno! Elno! Elno!"
- 8:25: Wailing continues. We get "those" looks from passersby.
- 8:26: I show TJ the DVD player back safely in our custody. He continues wailing, unabated.
- 8:27: I hold my bawling, snot-gushing son up over my head and announce I have a lost baby I'd like someone to claim. Please. Quickly. Only Travelin' Mom laughs. Passersby shoot even worse looks at me.
- 8:30: TJ finally calms down upon discovering the toy store wisely placed on the other side of security. I hold my breath as a store employee plays with a two-foot tall, talking Elmo. I ponder how I'll squeeze it into our already-overstuffed carry-on. Mercifully, TJ never notices. Things are looking up.
- 8:45: Arrive at our gate. Stand firmly wedged in the A-Group cattle call line thanks to Southwest's brilliant new boarding policy.
- 8:45-8:49: Shamelessly elicit sympathy from nearby travelers who didn't know families with small kids couldn't pre-board on Southwest anymore.
- 8:50: TJ gets restless, constantly saying "beep, beep." We let him walk around and quickly discover what "beep-beep" means, as he darts to the security door keypad, index finger poised for some button pushin'.
- 8:51: I sweep TJ up at the last second and explain how we're not allowed to touch the airport security door. He remains unconvinced and throws a smaller-scale tantrum. Small potatoes after Elmo's last rights back in security. I almost chuckle.
- 9:05: We mercifully board and try to pick seats a safe distance from anyone already boarded. Unfortunately, our plane is less than ten miles long, so we settle for a two-row buffer zone from humanity.
- 10:00: After a half hour sitting on the runway and a half hour in flight, we give up hope that TJ will nap. We pull out the DVD player in defeat. Behold, the power of Elmo. The rest of the flight is uneventful. I spend it quietly praying that the travel gene does not skip a generation.
